When I was a girl, I so wanted to be a mommy and have little ones to love. After getting married and being confronted with the possiblity that I may never have children (endometriosis), I decided it was a dream I was willing to fight for. I had surgery, hormone therapy (chemically induced menopause at 21 is NOT fun), and a couple of years of "trying" to get pregnant. God blessed me with four beautiful little miracles to love and raise with my amazing husband.
Day to day life with four kids is an amazing thing to behold. It can be crazy, loud, fun, exhilarating and exhausting all at once. We may have the whole day to sit around in our pj's watching nothing of value on TV or be running around trying to acomplish 20 things in 10 minutes. I do relish this job - I love the pure joy on their faces when I come into the room or when they rush to the door to greet their papa in the morning when he gets off work. I love the unconditional love that these babies have taught me. Parenting has always come natural to Papa and I. We agree on almost everything and now know that we are raising these kids to return to God. But....
We are entering unchartered territory.
It's a new ballgame.
We are flying blind.
Somebody forgot to pack our parachutes.......
As poor child #1 enters the teenage years, and child #2 is now a tween, we feel more than a little overwhelmed. I have been to the bookstore more times in the last 3 months than I care to admit. Here is a list of some of the books that have been recommended or I saw on the store bookshelf and just HAD to buy:
- For Parents Only
- The Five Love Languages of Teenagers (the best so far)
- How to have a new kid by Friday
- Re-Create
- Parenting by the Book
- Reviving Ophelia
- The Power of a Praying Parent (thank you for giving me the words!)
- Boundaries with Teens
- The New Strong Willed Child
- One Tough Mother (my favorite for a good laugh!)
The most consistant thing these books agree on is that these next few years are going to be tough. The kids are trying to grow up and find their own identity. They are going to break free whether you like it or not. Love them and let them know the parameters and the consequences of their decisions. Ok. Easier said than done. But, we will do our best. Reminds me of a funny story.
One night a few weeks ago, Papa and I were harrassing the kids to clean the house up and teasing them that our house was always clean before we had kids. Belle, in her usual smarty pants style, quipped "Ya shoulda thought about that before you got pregnant!" It is now our new motto, and repeated almost daily!
In all seriousness, I have decided to continue reading (devouring) all the books I can on parenting effectively - after all, we only get one chance to raise children. Can't mess this up. But, I will stick to the one book I know will help me the most; The Bible. Here are a few of my favorite pieces of advice on parenting from The Best Book Ever Written: (I like to use different translations ie: KJV, NRSV, NIV, NCV. via blueletterbible.org)
Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Psalm 139:14 - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Proverbs 19:18 - Discipline your children while there is hope. If you don't, you will ruin their lives.
Ephesians 6:4 - Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Proverbs 20:7 - The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.
Matthew 18:19 - Also, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about something and pray for it, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.
and one to memorize and place on my heart;
Lamentations 2:19 - Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children.
Man, oh Man are Papa & I armed for the fight! Bring it on... we have the Ultimate Fighter on our side! We will pray with fervency for discernment and direction on how to love and raise the Q Crew the way we were intended to. Calling all Angels!!
One scripture you left out..."spare the rod and spoil the child." Some people think it condones corporal punishment. Let me give you my take on it...
ReplyDelete"the Rod" is often a scriptural term for Jesus, like in Isaiah where it talks about "a rod out of the stem of Jesse."
So, I think it means if we leave Jesus out of their teachings and their lives, it will spoil (ruin) them. They may find Him on their own later, but why chance it?
Please remember, if teens and YA's get discouraging, that God also gave us the wonderful gift of choice. I don't always like my kids' choices, but I wouldn't take away the power to choose.
Also, a seminary teacher once pointed out that the Proverbs verse says "when he is old he will not depart from it." It doesn't say he will not stray in the middle part! I think it's important that we never ever give up hope in our kids' abilities to change and make right choices.
Love ya, Lynn